Sometimes I wished I wasn't studying in Singapore. And no I'm not talking about Hongkong either. Like.. the states.

I think the education system in Singapore is sort of formulated to prepare Singaporeans for the jobs available in Singapore's very own job market. Medicine.. oh yeah we've got hospitals here. We've got dentists and lawyers. We have pharmacists too. And then there was this hype about all the IT stuff so SMU got it's very IS school. Then we have finance majors cos we have all these banking companies. Of course there's the less prominent courses like history and geography and theatre studies but seriously just look around you. Your friends in NUS your friends in NTU your friends in Singapore. Computing, Engineering, Business, Accountancy, Sciences... it's forever those same fields.

How about Astrology? Botanical studies? No we don't really have them because we don't have a market for them. US's got NASA and we got Singapore Science Centre or Singapore Discovery Centre. Other countries' got rainforests and swamps but probably the most biologically diversified places we have are the Singapore Zoo or Pulau Ubin. Nobody really makes music here too. Or maybe they have the talents but no where to showcase them. We all look up to the foreign bands the foreign singers and we do adore and worship them. Frankly I don't think Singapore lacks talents. It's the whole environment in Singapore that teaches us from young that oh yeah you've gotta be a doctor or some investment banker or get into some big MNCs in order to succeed in life and everyone works blindly towards those goals. So kids start receiving tuition in like K1 and they get tuition all the way until they graduate from JC.

Actually I'm not sure what I'm trying to say here I don't even know what my point is but there's just so much stuff going on in my head and basically I guess my point is that in the US (and probably other places) there are more opportunities for you to do what you really wanna do in life. Yea think it sums up.

I used to wonder why some of my friends don't wanna come back after studying overseas. Like Greg and Yi. But frankly ever since I graduated from JC I already knew I wouldn't really wanna work in Singapore. I wanted to go elsewhere. And then I thought maybe I would like Hongkong. But then again besides having more opportunities, greater pay and stuff like that it's essentially the same as here. I long for the freedom to pursue whatever I want in life and I guess Singapore's not the place to offer me that priviledge.

Greg slams Singaporeans all the time. And I can completely understand where he's coming from. Not that I agree with him on all the issues. But like what he said, the topics never change. Shopping, partying, friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends, studies, CCAs, jobs or even more intellectual topics like politics. But who gives a damn when you talk to them about the environment? Who seriously seriously has deep passion for the arts and music? Who can you talk to regarding literature classics? Or the nature the wild the animals? Why does this difference exist?

Sometimes I can be very noisy and say alot of stupid things and make alot of stupid comments and other times I suddenly go quiet and not say a thing. That's because I don't know what to say. Sometimes I get so tired of the same kind of conversations. And one reason why I love love love love spending some "alone time" why myself is that I can think about life. Think about alot of stuff and maybe interact with myself (that sounds damn sad) because I don't know who else I can talk to regarding some issues.

At times like this I can't wait to go on exchange. Meet more people.

Don't get me wrong I'm not slamming the locals. It's just one of those times when you've bottled up your feelings for too long and you don't really have an outlet to vent the frustrations.


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Last night, I dreamt of aja aja. Still beautiful.