On love

I was reading the papers this morn.
(surprise surprise I actually read papers!)

There's this female teacher in China who teaches on weekdays and sells her body on weekends to cover the tuition fees of her 3 younger brothers. One of her client fell in love with her and gave her money monthly so that she could stop being a prostitute. He also celebrated her 21st birthday with her, bought her a cake, red wine, roses and a ring. She was really touched. She never imagined that a prostitute could be loved by someone too.

They got together and she stopped being a prostitute. But half a year later, her family ran into financial problems and she started selling her body again, behind the boyfriend's back. Then she contracted some sex disease. When he found out about it, he was so heartbroken that he left her. She nearly died crying.

A few days later, he returned and sought treatment with her. Soon after, she was cured of the sex disease. He wanted to marry her. But she left. She couldn't face him or his family anymore.

"曾经有过值得这辈子去怀念的男人就够了"

I ask myself if I would leave the guy too if I were her. If that guy has done so much for me and doesn't mind my past he probably loves me alot. But then because of that all the more I'll feel guilty and "unclean" and ashamed of the things I've done. If I leave him he probably will be super heartbroken and I would too. But if I stay, I will feel pretty inferior and that I'm not good enough for him. And who knows if he might bring up my past if we do quarrel in the future. Who knows he'll start to despise me. I still don't know what I would have done. But I do feel sorry for the both of them. Sigh. The complexities of love.